[Doc Diaries] The Big Leagues

Imagine striving to follow a compass as far North as you can make it. Every line of latitude feels like a milestone. A hallmark.

Sure, there are setbacks — sometimes geography will force you to traverse sideways before you can keep moving forward. Sometimes, you'll even have to turn back and find a different route. But the progress is definite. And with each new milestone, the clarity of your purpose intensifies.

An irony, that also intensifies, is that the closer you get to the goal, the less your compass actually guides you. Sometimes it wavers and falters in ways that never happened farther back. And once you actually Make It, the direction it points to is… anywhere else. Just not here.

So do you stop, or do you keep moving? And if you move, how can you possibly judge and evaluate your sense of progress? Was finding the North Pole worth it in the first place? Was the compass really guiding you in a direction that mattered? How would life have been different if you had travelled due East? Or West?

What if the compass was meaningless all along?

Opportunity and Cost: An Anniversary

I am still me.

It feels weird to say that. Or rather, it feels weird to have doubted that. But I guess that's what this past year has been: doubts about assumptions that used to come naturally.

Let's rewind: 1 year and 1 week ago, I strained my hamstring at pole vault practice. Again. And I decided it was time for a change. Two days later, I sat down at a friend's table with a box of tissues and wrote "Leaving Love Behind." A few days later, I sketched out some ideas in my composition book, went to the photo studio, and took a self-portrait that felt like it fit the gravity of that moment.

I wrote at the time that "I don't really know what the future will hold," but I figured that I would figure things out in time. There's no way I could have imagined the changes that were in store, for all of us, but I was dedicated to making the best of an unfamiliar situation, and I'm pretty happy with how the last year has gone.

Second Wind

It's kind of funny to think that the last time I saw my DSLR, it was looking back at me. February 29th. My life had just taken a huge turn — after 22 years of pole vault, I decided to retire, and I went to the photo studio to take some self-portraits that would hopefully capture how unmoored and adrift I felt in that moment.

Little did I know, another huge turn was just around the corner. Little did I know that "unmoored and adrift" was going to be the theme of the year.

Orange Haze

A gentle giant rumbled in the sky
In older times, when weather was a friend
With eyes shut tight, I'd feel the wind drift by
But patterns, large and small, began to bend

I grew up in the midwest, and it's a place that leaves an impression on you. Winters were cold. Summers were warm. Fall was the browns, oranges, and ochres of falling leaves and pine needles. And springs were the green and the crisp, bright sunlight that promised the start of the next cycle.

It rarely just rained. More typically, there was rain with a deep, rolling, distant reverberation of thunder, at times interspersed with a sharper, but still amicable sound of nearer thunderclaps. It wasn't a crack, so much as the sound of tearing a giant piece of paper, as the vibrations continue to echo through the material itself.

Those were the days when "go inside when it's lightning outside" was something that adults said, and that you did because you were told; not because you actually understood what could happen.

Sometimes, during the perfect thunderstorm, the gentle, humid breeze would feel so wonderful amidst the chorus of pitter-patters emanating from the raindrops landing all around you…

[Doc Diaries] The Truth and Beauty of Diversity

I mentioned last time that Singapore's "gleaming architecture, wondrous glass-covered skyscrapers, and spotless streets" felt as if they were devoid of humanity. When I got to downtown Melbourne, I again found myself surrounded by towers of metal and glass. But… this time it was different. This time, I could admire the dazzling architecture without feeling like I was losing my grip on reality. I could look up, but still feel my feet on the ground.

I'm still not entirely sure why, but I think it has a lot to do with space, and I think it has a lot to do with utility. Let me try to explain what I saw, and what I felt.

A bunch of the architecture in Singapore was exquisitely designed, but it felt so special as to seem otherworldly. Out-of-place. It felt like a mystical wonderland that you would visit, but that didn't seem to have as much connection with where and how people actually lived. You would look around, and you would see works of art that placed form before function, even though they did still function.

When I looked towards the sky in the Melbourne central business district (CBD; basically, "downtown"), the trappings of everyday life remained in view. And they fit into the place. The angles of the street lamp fixtures matched the angular design of the buildings. The towering heights of the skyscrapers were echoed in the way that the netting of a play area also reached towards the sky. It felt like design was… an everyday thing. Like the difference between a beautiful sculpture and a nicely sculpted fork. They might both be works of art, but you observe one from afar, and you use the other one every single day.

Leaving Love Behind

I have so many questions. And I know that the answers, if they come at all, will only come with time. Looking back doesn't feel like it'll help me move forward. I don't know how 22 years of "I am" can really prepare a person to say "I am not" for the first time. But I'll do my best.

I grew up playing soccer and tennis since before I can remember. But in 7th grade, a funeral kept me away from tennis tryouts, and opened the door to track and field. I tried the pole vault because it seemed cool. I stuck with it because I was right.

[Doc Diaries] Photographing Art: Reflections on Truth and Beauty

I originally discovered Jonathan Prince's sculptures on Instagram, a little over 2 years ago. I was immediately drawn to them, but I knew that the experience would be deeper if I ever had a chance to see them in person. It turns out, I didn't even know the half of it.

A few weeks ago, I finally had my chance to see The Shatter Series in context, and to make pictures of the installation. And the experience led me towards so many unexpected questions — and a few answers — about the intersections of photography, physical art, truth, and beauty.

The first question came to mind the moment I approached the installation: What makes a good photograph of a sculpture? How do you start with something wonderful, and use it to develop an offshoot (such as a photograph), that has its own traits? Something that can be wonderful — or lackluster — in it's own right?

Fundamentally, how do you represent the traits of the original piece, but also create enough distance from it that one can appreciate the traits of the representation itself?

Doc Diaries: Fuji X-T1 Mirrorless

Sometimes gear matters. My photographic journey started off with a point-and-shoot camera, about 16 years ago, and has since been powered predominantly by some combination of DSLRs and (more recently) mirrorless cameras.

As I developed as a photojournalist, and subsequently as a documentary photographer, I found myself optimizing for two competing usecases: I wanted a camera I could keep with me, because some of the best opportunities are unexpected and unpredicted. But I also wanted to be able to cover large events (like concerts and athletic events), while wearing gloves, where my movement might be constrained, without needing to change lenses.

Over the years, my kit has bifurcated into a pair of solutions that handle those two kinds of situations separately. For everyday moments and unexpected situations, I have a Fuji X-T1 mirrorless camera with a fairly compact 27mm f/2.8 prime lens that's with me most of the time. The whole package is sufficiently convenient that I carry it even on days when I expect no pictures to happen. In contrast, when I go somewhere for the purpose of shooting, I'll usually bring a pair of D7100 DSLR bodies with f/2.8 zooms attached. I still have plenty of frustrations with both setups, but even so, I still find myself able to work pretty effectively.

Finally, to put this post (and this series) into some context, I picked up the X-T1 in 2014 and have run a bit over 28k frames through it since then. The D7100 bodies are at ~92k for the pair. Previously, I had put ~118k frames onto two D300 bodies, ~23k frames onto a Sony NEX-7 and NEX-6, ~11k frames onto a Fuji X100, and ~50k frames onto the Nikon D70 that started it all for me. Suffice it to say that I have a significant amount of experience with all of these cameras, and all of the conclusions I draw are specifically against this backdrop. I'm well aware that other cameras (whether mirrorless or DSLR) have different strengths and weaknesses.

Portraits In Situ (part 1)

"Within every man and woman a secret is hidden, and as a photographer it is my task to reveal it if I can. The revelation, if it comes at all, will come in a small fraction of a second with an unconscious gesture, a gleam of the eye, a brief lifting of the mask that all humans wear to conceal their innermost selves from the world. In that fleeting interval of opportunity the photographer must act or lose his prize." —Yousuf Karsh

As I flit through life with camera in hand, I inevitably notice certain moments that seem to exemplify aspects of my friends' personalities. With luck, I recognize those moments in time to take a photo.

Here are some of those photos, and a word on what I see in them.

Tradition

Exploration

Relation

Connection

Transformation

Preparation

Illumination

Connotation

Imagination

Conviction

Determination

Iteration

Reflection

Restroom Retrospective

My X-T1 stays by my side in most situations, which means that it's accompanied me into a fair number of restrooms. While the vast majority of those visits were unexceptional, there were a few sights and situations that caught my eye, and I pulled out my camera to capture them.

In the bathroom of a small Japanese restaurant in San Francisco, I encountered some sort of incense-producing device. It would turn on and off at regular intervals. I really liked how the stream of smoke was backlit by a lighted box which I found very reminiscent of a vintage radio.

This was in a deli somewhere around the Nut Tree Parkway, during a road trip from the Bay Area to Reno, Nevada for this year's National Pole Vault Summit.

Another Japanese restaurant; this time in San Mateo, while I was visiting with my friend Karena. Big Bunny is watching you.

I'm not positive, but I believe this was the bathroom of a Whole Foods Market, somewhere in San Francisco.

And finally, some wall art in the bathroom of my friend Matt's race shop.

Ad Hoc Challenges and Personal Growth

Sometimes it pays to throw caution to the wind. To try something just to see if you can do it. If it works, that's another skill or capability under your belt. If it doesn't work, that's extra experience under your belt. Either eventuality leads to personal growth.

In my own case, I was in the studio a few days ago to shoot a new passport photo for myself. I wanted to get home, and I idly wondered how quickly I could do a good-enough job. The answer was seven photos. I got to the studio, took seven pictures, and went home. I also made a lot of mistakes. I learned a lot, and if I were going to do it over again, I'd do things differently. Skills, capability, experience.

I analyze all seven shots below.

First shot. Making sure the light and trigger are working. Check. Tripod in the photo is the one that I used (since I forgot mine at home; whoops).

Second shot. Bumped the light output. Remember that this is the tripod that will be under the camera, so the tripod isn't actually in the hotspot.

Third shot. Camera mounted on tripod. Yoga mat as focus stand-in.

Fourth shot. Self-timer was shorter than expected. Obviously overexposed, framed too low, and out-of-focus.

Fifth shot. Bumped the camera from f/2.8 to f/4.0 to deal with overexposure. Used another tripod as a focus stand-in, because its legs kept it from flopping backward like the yoga mat did. Also, I made it taller to better approximate my torso height. Still out-of-focus.

Sixth shot. Pitched down a little bit, and finally nailed the focus.

Seventh shot. Focus is perfect. Framing is perfect. The main thing I got wrong is that the light is too directional. I pondered putting up a second light and decided that I was too lazy. That was a mistake — passport photos call for very flat, even lighting. In the end, I was able to fix that in post, but were I shooting for an actual (journalistic) publication, it would've called for a re-shoot.

The second thing I got wrong is that I needed more diffusion. I used a ~5-foot octa, set up pretty close, and the hotspot is too bright, which overexposed my left (camera-right) cheek, while leaving the rest of my face reasonably-exposed. If I drop the exposure so my cheek is reasonable, the rest of my face is underexposed. The effect is exacerbated by the fact that I wear UV-blocking sunglasses every day, which is why the area around my eyes is so much less tan than the rest of my face.

But all in all, pretty good. And even better next time :o)

Hello Fuji X-T1, Bye-Bye NEX-7

It was a tiny bit over two years ago, in March of 2012, that I replaced my Fuji X100 with the Sony NEX-7. After the exercise in frustration that was the X100, the NEX-7 felt like a breath of fresh air. But lo, the times, they are a-changin'.

On Friday (2 days ago), I took delivery of a new Fuji X-T1. Much like my original receipt of the NEX-7, it was a transformative experience, and within the first 24 hours using the camera, I had shot images in situations that would have been near-impossible with the NEX-7. This post will include some representative images that I've shot with the camera, as well as comments on why each one is included, how I shot the image, and which features of the camera are relevant to that image. All images are JPEGs from the camera.

The common theme will be: X-T1 AF is dramatically faster, and works in really low light. I like that there are lots of buttons to change settings without diving into menus. I like that I can check settings without putting the camera up to my eye.

I shot the opening image, this one, and the one below all at In-n-Out, maybe two hours after getting the camera. I really like the colors and tonality. I like how the light falls off dramatically in the distance.

Another In-n-Out shot. This focal length (40mm-equiv) is new for me as well; I usually shot 29mm-equiv with the NEX-7. I like the compression, but it's a little tight for the kinds of "friend sitting across table" portraits that I like to do.

Kind of a dynamic range test shot. Works for me. I focused on the chair arm, and that was pretty snappy.

Evening low-light shot at base ISO. Tones are coming out nicely. I was able to autofocus on the tree silhouettes without a problem.

I was planning to walk around Palo Alto Friday night, just to see how the camera did in actual low-light conditions.

But first, LemmeTakeASelfie.

First stop: Pizza My Heart. This was when I encountered the first major interaction bug: the exposure compensation dial is ignored whenever a shutter speed and an aperture are both explicitly selected, even though I still had auto-ISO enabled. That's why this shot is so bright. So the camera would peg the ISO, looking for a 0EV exposure in a dark environment, when what I really wanted was for it to aim for -2EV or -3EV.

Once I finally figured out what was going on, I recalled that another person had mentioned this exact problem in a review. *sigh*. I guess it wouldn't be a camera without ridiculous bugs.

If you're actually shooting in low light at wide-open aperture, there is a workaround. Just flip to auto-aperture. The camera will conveniently pick the wide-open aperture again, but this time, it'll actually pay attention to the exposure compensation dial. *sigh*

At this point, I was playing around with the shutter speed, en route to discovering the exposure compensation bug. This works okay as a high-ISO test shot, though. 3200ISO, and the stubble on his chin is fairly sharp. Plus you can see the individual strands of hair on his head (in the highlight). Works for me.

This was more of a focus test than anything. I used autofocus, trying to focus on the person in the distance. In practice, the camera actually focused on the second-to-last table, in front of the person, but that difference is invisible at reasonable focal lengths. This was where the dual-view thing really came in handy. I was able to quickly check a magnified focus box and hit the shutter without having to check focus, then zoom back out to make sure my composition was okay.

I'm really happy about this shot. I mean, it's not good, but it's a reaction shot where I noticed, focused, and took the photo quickly. The NEX-7 wouldn't have handled this situation, especially not with the speed and aplomb of the X-T1. The X-T1 nailed the focus, even with the sweeper surrounded by reflected highlights, with a lot of contrast in the background, and with similar tonalities between the sweeper and the floor and everything around him. Well done.

This was another quick shot that worked out pretty well. I had paused for a moment to take one shot, and then I continued walking as I took this shot. Focus is on, and there's plenty of image detail at 3200ISO (another impossibility with the NEX-7).

On a side note, I'm really going to have to practice this shot, because I really like how the background is motion-blurred because of the camera motion. The trick is that you have to keep the camera pointed in exactly the right direction (which direction changes as you walk), plus you have to match your shutter speed to your walking speed so that the subjects are acceptably sharp, while the background gets a nice blur. Excited to see where this goes.

Another quick shot. I think the camera focused on the kitchen, but that's good enough here. I really like the silhouette. I really like how much dynamic range I'm getting at 3200ISO. Keep in mind that in addition to more noise, you tend to get less dynamic range as the sensor sensitivity is pushed. I also like the tonality here — the floor reflection combines the shape of the silhouette with the general color palette of the rest of the image.

That said, you're definitely starting to see some signs of aggressive noise reduction in the OOF areas off to the left and right of the image; especially in the napkin-holders and tables to the far left of the image.

Nice colors, sharpness, and dynamic range at high ISO. Look how the green trees came out on the far right.

More colors and dynamic range. Really low-key image that I accidentally shot as I was picking up the focus distance from the floor.

Pro tip: that's an easy way to set up zone focus when you don't want to put the camera to your eye. Just make sure you're standing on something with lots of contrast and trigger AF on the floor.

Really quick no-look reaction shot. Didn't pick up the focus in time, but I think the sentiment is good enough that the image can still work in context. Also, I'm apparently really bad at keeping the camera level for my no-look shots :o)

Another no-look, another crooked horizon, although it kind of works here. Camera nailed the focus (without me looking through the viewfinder at all). Exposure is where I want it (I was shooting auto-shutter-speed). Composition kind of worked out. I'm pretty happy with this, and it's another shot that the NEX-7 wouldn't be able to match.

Shots in outdoor bright sunlight. Really like the colors and contrast. AF was easy and pretty quick. Even though my lens doesn't have the standard built-in aperture ring, switching apertures with the rear dial is easy and matches my DSLRs. For people who care, the mapping of which dial is aperture and which is shutter speed can be flipped in the settings. As can manual-focus-ring rotation, for that matter.

Backlit portrait with some light from above. Happy with the skin tones and depth of field. Really happy with the sharpness. AF was again dead simple, even though the subject's face is in shadow and there's brighter stuff in the background. This was right around base ISO.

We can rebuild him! The same as before, but this time with a non-destroyed turbo. I love this really strong silhouette, and the camera focused on the silhouette edges in a snap. I'm again really happy with how this came out, and setting up the silhouette was super easy — twist the exposure compensation dial to -3EV-ish (which the EVF will reflect) and fire away.

Jerrit cleans some tools. I auto-focused on his hand, and the manual-focus aids were really useful in enabling me to double-check the focus. The dual-view EVF thing was really useful in allowing me to double-check the focus while keeping track of Jerrit's right hand, because I definitely wanted it in the frame.

Again, I'm also loving the dynamic range — the touch of rim light on the sockets is what makes this image, for me, and I really like how those highlights attract my attention, and then when I look closer, I can make out the silhouette of each one.

All told, I'm really happy, and looking forward to shooting lots more stuff with this sucker. Whee! :o)